The Twins and the Beard

After a half hour of performing songs, carefully crafted over many months, Candi’s Dog like nothing more than subjecting the audience to our spontaneous, ill-informed conversation. You are probably most likely to speak to Daniel ‘networking’ (skiving) while the others pack up our gear, but the other two usually appear once the work has been done. After a polite ‘Good gig lads’ the conversation quickly moves to the burning question that has been in the minds of our audience during the whole set; “Are you two twins?” In case you missed it, Matthew and Daniel are twins. Despite being a well understood natural phenomena our listeners are endlessly fascinated by them, with questions such as “Who is the oldest?” “Do you have the same dreams?” “Can you communicate by telepathy?” etc. If music is discussed at all, it is usually secondary, with the two people who look eerily similar taking centre stage.

Two people who look eerily similar.

Understandably Stephen was feeling a bit left out, and no doubt rather unhappy that our beloved band had become a Victorian freak show. A little while ago, however, he decided to give up on the strange male pastime of scraping sharpened metal across his face, and unexpectedly grew a beard. As well as looking more distinguished/trampy/garden gnome-like (delete as applicable) he now finds himself inundated with a set of questions any dog walker would be familiar with “How old is it?” Can I stroke it?” “Can it do any tricks?” Indeed, at our recent gig at the Customs House the compere, having introduced us individually by name, gave a special introduction to the beard. Stephen has since used this to press for full band membership and pay for the beard (perhaps forgetting that 25% of bugger all is still bugger all). Matthew and Daniel remain unconvinced.

Still all is now well in Candi’s Dog, the twins and the beard have their own fans and the music remains in the background. All that could spoil the peace and harmony would be if the twins grew their own beards, but since they have the facial hair growth of fourteen year old boys this is distinctly unlikely. Shouldn’t mock really, they can’t help it, it’s in their (identical) genes.


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